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That's why he came and coached Berrick Barnes and Quade Cooper virtually every day over January in 2007 when I was coaching the Reds in Brisbane.

It was a blatant disregard for the laws of the game.

Alred's dedication to winning is intense - but last week he went a step too far with another member of the England support staff when he tried to give Jonny his hand-picked football for conversions after tries had been scored with a different ball against Romania.

Wilkinson's long-time kicking coach Dave Alred loves Queensland and spends every summer on the Gold Coast.

Having coached in the English premiership for two years, I can tell you from first-hand experience that this sort of behaviour is common.

Frances Dunhill—who, of course, turns out to be a lesbian (speaking of lesbians: doesn’t the lesbian bunny sound like a pull-string doll?) At the suggestion of his new adviser, Sean (a.k.a. lesbian bunny’s beard) Nick decides, after about four seconds’ contemplation, the best thing for his campaign would be a fake relationship with “nice girl” Frances. They go out to fake dinner and share a fake kiss, and all the while Carol-Lynne is fuming. What a bitch, right? She decides to fight back with a fake relationship of her own, with the real state’s attorney.

The whole thing was written like an episode of Saved By The Bell : Zack is running for class president and decides to date a nice homely girl instead of Kelly, and she fights back by going out with the senior class president at Valley. In any case, it’s sort of heartbreaking to watch Laura Benanti give this appalling material more effort than it deserves. And it’s laughable to me that Carol-Lynne, who’s the closest thing this show has to a three-dimensional character (she’s got about 1.8 dimensions), would be hung-up on a himbo like Nick Dalton. It’s like the producers of this show decided, “Well, Don Draper cheats a lot, but this is network TV, so Nick has to be likable, so let’s have him kinda-sorta go out with other women all the time, but not really.” Sorry if I’m laying on the Mad Men comparisons this week, but I can’t help myself. I feel like someone who’s been crawling through the desert for a year and someone just handed me an icy cold glass of rubbing alcohol.